I've been doing alot of seeking and growing and testing of my own personal boundaries lately. What I learned is that I am capable of boundless joy and love and laughter. I am capable of grasping the minutest thing and holding it gently in my Soul to keep and enrich me long term. I am capable of snatching any one of my hundred dreams out of my mind and bringing it to real life. My Life. That....... there are simply no boundaries.
On another note, it makes me very angry and deeply tormented that I did not know any other way before and let others peoples ideas or opinions of what I should or could be, to be whole and happy, were simply that...their thoughts. Not mine. These people are not happy or satisfied or enlightened themselves. I feel like I was a trained monkey, taught to respond to peoples approval....what society says is what you should or shouldnt be, or have , or think, or feel, or love, or keep or let go. wow. Way fucked.
Ive lusted a million times. Ive loved only a handul. I died once. I was born twice. I carried anothers Life inside my Soul and body once. Seen a thousand smiles. Believed only 100. I feel very, very fortunate.
What I'm going to keep doing is fighting the good fight. I know life isn't fair nor are the people in it. I understand I will not win all the battles but I WILL win the war. I understand not everything will involve a fight or battle. Once in a while I get to simply embrace and revel in the simple beauty that does make all the bullshit we endure worthwhile. I just feel grateful that I can still see the beauty because I know alot of people who can't, or won't.
So these pages will be filled with my unique perceptions, feelings, epiphanies, experiences and humor. I refuse to let the negative shit or people screw up my eternal optimism. Ever. If everyone in the world treated everyone like a brother or sister, just simply helped or guided eachother...then the world would be a better place. There. I just solved the worlds problems.
I hope at minimum something I say or revel will help, enlighten or just amuse you. Comments are always welcome.
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Kristen, first off, let me just say Thank You for putting into words something that many of us have been thinking to ourselves every time someone is careless in their own words or actions. Keep the faith - there are a few souls out there worth knowing and getting to know.
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You are right...I'll never stop sifting for those gems of souls, like you. Thanks for the encouragement!
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