Sex and Games in the Animal Kingdom

Did you know that only 3 mammals have sex just for the pleasure of it? (Im sure theres more but for the sake of this rant you hush)

Humans, dolphins and certain species of primates

Fact: A pig’s orgasm can last for thirty minutes
Fact: Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

So if you mated a lion with a pig you could cum 1500 minutes a day? Wait! Theres only 1440 minutes in 24 hours. What the fuck? Is it like one of those cell phone plans where you can have rollover minutes? I want in! I want that plan!

Do you think that monkeys and dolphins have the same stupid drama and games trying to get laid like we humans do?

Is Mike the monkey expected to bring a pretty bushel of bananas to Martha monkeys tree limb and seranade her with "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" song? Is Marthas tree roommate going to leave so Mike and Martha can have hot wild monkey sex? Does Mike pretend he doesn't give a shit either way if he gets laid
and dons that monkey ego bullshit attitude? Does Martha keep her oppasable thumbs to herself instead of running them through Mikes hairy body like she really wants to? Does Mike brag to his friends that he took Martha like the beast he is and fucked her like a Silverback gorilla all night? Does Martha lie to her Mother and say she and her date spent the evening discussing current Jungle Affairs and playing bible word Scrabble?
Hmmmm, sounds really familiar to me. Sad but true.

What about being forthright in your desires? Oh my gawd what a concept. Being on Adult FriendFinder is a little better than the 'other vanilla' dating sites but certain decorum and manners should still apply don't you think? We all know why we are here. We are sexual beings with needs and desires and kinks and want to experience other pleasures besides that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you pay your mortgage or rent on time right?

I'd relish the way the dolphins might fuck, mate, screw, get jiggy, knock fins...however you want to say it. Dan the dolphin swaggerly swims over to the school (yard) and herds out the hot Donna dolphin from her pack of girlfriends and compliments her. Female mammals dig that, trust me. She might try to act coy, thus giving the appearance to the male that she is shy, thus (i like saying thus right now) bolstering the ego driven males confidence that he will not be shot down on his attempts to possibly mate with her. He compliments her on her free spirit and tells her he noticed how graceful she is when she swims naked at school during syncronized swimming class. She covers her bottle nose with her fin and giggles and then kicks the water with her tail fin, again feigning coyness, and says she noticed his superb ability to
herd that school of anchovies with the other dolphins yesterday. Dans slick muscular chest swells with pride and he shoots out of the water and does a playful backflip in joy that Donna noticed his manly efforts to hunt and gather. Dan and Donna glare into eachothers eyes, having to turn their heads from side to side
to see both eyes but they manage to get it done. They hold side fins and swim happily off together........with that perpetual dolphin smile.

Post Script: After hot dolphin acrobatic water sex Donna asked Dan if he had any cool male friends for a 3 some. Dan of course agreed as he didn't want to deny Donna dolphin anything because he KNEW he was her main slick squeeze but asked her if she had any wet friends, which, of course she did. They lived happily ever after but there sex life often included electric eels, blowfish, groupers, red snappers, bearded clams, ugly but delightfully tasty monkfish, geoduck(look it up, you'll get the reason why) baleen whales (no teeth) and various other sea creatures just for the halibut. (I know...go ahead and groan)