One time, not at Band Camp but in my kitchen, over wine...that fancy boxed merlot wine... I declared to a friend that life is not worth living without cheese. Yes CHEESE my friends. I love cheese and Im grateful I am not lactose intolerant.
My friend looked at me like I was a a fucking retard, I know the rolly eyes look and hear that "Oh god Kristen, NOW what?" tone but in truth I am truly retarded at least half the time. (I can say retard and you can't because Im a Crip and your an Able Body...ask Timmy and Jimmy of South Park.) I get on these rants about random stuff no one cares about except me. But then again maybe I'm not aware of all the cheese lovers out there. I should get out more often.
Ok so.....
Men are like cheese.
Why? Well the 4 catagories of cheese are: soft, semi-soft, semi-hard and hard. I'm sure you can fill in the blanks on my reasoning here. Some are strong and flavorful, Some are smooth and melt heavenly in your mouth. Some are really hard and pungent and leave a nasty aftertaste. Some are sweet with a nutty undertone and go well with fruit. Some are best aged, even if they do have those blueish veins. Mmmm, flavor. Don't just look at the outer casing, open it up if you can and taste the insides. If its good, savor it. Let it lay on your tongue and get to all your senses. Some cheeses have been smoked to long and need a good airing out like a musty sleeping bag needs fresh outdoor air. Some have that scary looking science project mold on it but if your brave enough and if its your favorite type of cheese...simply carve off the icky looking stuff and enjoy the good eats under the disguise. There is alot of wonderful cheese out there. Endless tasty possabilities. Don't limit yourself. What kind of cheese do you prefer?
Next in the Ima Retard food series.."Women Are Like Whine"
~Kristen
3-15-2009
My friend looked at me like I was a a fucking retard, I know the rolly eyes look and hear that "Oh god Kristen, NOW what?" tone but in truth I am truly retarded at least half the time. (I can say retard and you can't because Im a Crip and your an Able Body...ask Timmy and Jimmy of South Park.) I get on these rants about random stuff no one cares about except me. But then again maybe I'm not aware of all the cheese lovers out there. I should get out more often.
Ok so.....
Men are like cheese.
Why? Well the 4 catagories of cheese are: soft, semi-soft, semi-hard and hard. I'm sure you can fill in the blanks on my reasoning here. Some are strong and flavorful, Some are smooth and melt heavenly in your mouth. Some are really hard and pungent and leave a nasty aftertaste. Some are sweet with a nutty undertone and go well with fruit. Some are best aged, even if they do have those blueish veins. Mmmm, flavor. Don't just look at the outer casing, open it up if you can and taste the insides. If its good, savor it. Let it lay on your tongue and get to all your senses. Some cheeses have been smoked to long and need a good airing out like a musty sleeping bag needs fresh outdoor air. Some have that scary looking science project mold on it but if your brave enough and if its your favorite type of cheese...simply carve off the icky looking stuff and enjoy the good eats under the disguise. There is alot of wonderful cheese out there. Endless tasty possabilities. Don't limit yourself. What kind of cheese do you prefer?
Next in the Ima Retard food series.."Women Are Like Whine"
~Kristen
3-15-2009
