Defragged and Rebooted

Don't you ever just feel like some kind of machine? I know I do. Like pulsing electricity and a jumble of firing wires. Sometimes they go where they are supposed to, connect to and sometimes its like a downed power line thats spitting and jumping and flayling under its own power trying to find what it needs to be connected to. Sometimes I even freak myself out. Sometimes I freak others out. Sometimes I decide not to filter a damn thing when I write. Why should I? It's my shit and how I feel or perceive or react. Whatever. I personally am not responsible for others perceptions or interpretations. It is interesting though the range of reactions it sparked......

After I wrote and posted "Kristen's New Dating Site Ad" I received several calls and even more emails from people who care about me. That part rocked. The part that didn't rock was having to 'justify' why I wrote it. Normally I wouldn't even give a shit to even bother replying. Obviously the piece made some bells go off somewhere in some people. Thank you for caring about me. Thank you for stopping whatever else you were doing to take the time to respond. I didn't ask for responses so I guess they meant more to me that they came. It was unexpected.

The responses ranged from "Haha, good one...a talking sphincter indeed", "Do you want me to hunt the bastard down that did this to you", "Do you want some company?", "Wow you sure sounded angry and hurt", to "God your such a monumental sarcastic smart ass".

Yes on the talking sphincter, no do not hunt anyone down cause I'm not vindictive, sure come over and change my views, Gee..YA THINK I sounded angry and hurt? Fuckin duh. and yes yes yes on being a smart ass. Its how I deal. How I roll. Its my M.O baby. Modus Operandi.

To put anyones mind at ease, especially my own, I am happy to report that even having every human attribute in question in the above mentioned piece snubbed out, I am fine. Even though my core foundation was severely cracked by the exclusion of simple compassion by another, actually I should say others as it was a culmination of many people....I am fine. Finer than fine. Closer to fine even. It just took me a little longer this time to stand straight up after the blow. Big fucking blow. You understand. Thank God Im in The Union. Thank God for My Tribe.

Look. See. Listen. Its how I feel, really.
Indigo Girls-Closer To Fine (will open in a separate window)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o27ugtK3i4w

AND...Spring is officially here! Wooohoo. So, here....

As I walk. as I walk.....
The Universe is walking with me.
In beauty it walks before me.
In beauty it walks beside me.
In beauty it walks behind me.
In beauty it walks below me.
In beauty it walks above me.
Beauty is on every side of me.
Beauty envelopes me.
Beauty walks with me
As I walk, as I walk.
Beauty.

~Kristen



SUCCESS is having peace within yourself and joy in serving others that they too may find it.
May you have the light of hope, direction, and strength to be the person, the soul you were meant to be.