A fitting Poem by Walt Whitman-O Pioneers
Like some of you, I've dated quite a bit at my current age of 44. I could delve really deep into the sordid details of what makes a date or a man a good one or a bad one but I'll save that for another rant. I have a ton of juicy stories on that topic. Personally, Im a risk taker. I've never been afraid of the unknown. i like challenges. I am stupid and quite possibly a masochist. Hold your nose and jump into the deep end. Sink or swim. I'm just not made to be a bystander. I like to participate. I relish in any experience where I can learn something about myself, the world and the people in it. Its the most rewarding and fucking frustrating attitude to have. We all have choices. Ain't that a bitch?
Age. Numbers. How many minutes, hours, days, years we have lived on earth and what have we become to this point and what have we learned and what can we give back to those we care about? I think the scariest shit is actually doing a self assesment. Yikes! Somebody stop me?
Ive dated 15 years younger and 27 years older than myself. When I say 'date' let me bluntly say...slept with, knocked boots, gotten jiggy, howled like a wolf, and enjoyed purposely getting naked and made love with these people with gusto and passion. Im not talking a huge number, but enough to come to this conclusion....age does matter. AND age doesn't mean a damn thing. Its the person behind the number.
I tend to be attracted to men with higher intellects. I admit to getting bored easily and if a guy can stir my brain..Im all in. My loins follow my brain. If he can challenge me in a positive way, I'm all in. If I can learn something or have discussions ranging from the extremely juvenile (I think farts and burps are funny as hell) to debating who had a clearer understanding of the Universe in philisophical theory and transcending one's self (Nietzsche, Tolle, Ram Dass, Emerson etc), I'm all in. If a guy can fart and burp WHILE discussing philosophy...well thats just an added bonus in my opinion. The cherry on top.
To date I haven't found what I'm looking for. To date I have found what I'm looking for, just not in 1 person. I bet all of you have at one time or another wished you could smash all the amazing qualities from all these relationships you've had into 1 Perfect Man or Woman. I think it's really rude that you can't. Dammit! But I get what I need from the array of friends I have. I'm lucky, but I also put the time in with these awesome people and they do the same with me. True Friends. My Tribe I call them.
Shit, I had a point. Having A.D.D can really rock if you can stay focused. Obviously it's not my strong point, that focus thingy. OH. Age. I think I'm happiest in the long term with someone closer to my age, give or take a few years. People are at a certain stage at certain times and there really is no way around that. But I've met young people with old souls and older people with young souls. Go figure. Time and experience. You can't fake that or be a poser in those areas. Its an absolute. Like beauty, it just is.
I recently dated a guy 10 years younger and though he had an extremely high IQ and could have kept my interest probably for the rest of my life.... he was half baked. Not his fault. He just simply wasn't done cooking. I wanted to hug him and slug him at the same time for some of the simple courtesies he either lacked or didn't deem important enough to show me. Only time and experience may solve or fill the holes in his character, his persona and how he treats others in his life. It sucked because I accidently fell in love. I think I fell in love with the dream of what my life could be like with someone amazing, maybe not the person. I'm not sure. but it was definately love. I learned alot about what I do want and don't want. Everything counts. It was difficult letting go of a dream but not the guy. Does that make sense? Shove him back in the life oven in hopes he will evolve to that toasty yummy golden color we all seek in a friend or relationship. We were at very different places in our lives. Time. Love helps me write. Its a muse and so was he. That half baked boy.....
I also dated a guy for 3 years about 15 years ago. We were 4 years apart in age. We were in love but over time and both of us being true Alphas, we butted heads instead of hearts, even though we had the exact same goals and dreams. Our egos and pride got in the way. What each of us thought was important grew to be different. We broke up. 10 years passed. We went our separate ways. He looked me up. We connected again as just people. We both had grown, our attitudes matured and we are the very best of friends to this day. He and I often laugh at both of our shortcomings from years ago. People hopefully do evolve positively over time. I just think its fanfuckingtastic when you run into people you knew in the way past and you connect again, both of you being different, better people. We talked of trying it again but we weren't the same people anymore. He is another high ranking member of My Tribe and I couldn't imagine my life with him. He is one of the very few men I respect in character and I love him completely. Time.
There was this other guy that was 20 years older than me. It started out on a mutually understood sexual level and it was very cosmic. Tantric. Amazing. Like a chick I fell in love with the whole man. I realized my heart is an involuntary muscle. Same with the guy that was 10 years younger. Damn betraous, torturous heart. Ahhh, heavan and hell. I wanted more than he could give (what a shocker) me so we ended the relationship with me cursing the male gender again. We didn't communicate for a long time. We connected again and the great thing is we left the past in the past. We just started over as very informed friends. This guy was simply to amazing and golden inside to dismiss him completely from my life because I didn't get my way with his heart. To date he is actually the person who has made the most monumental contributions to my evolment as a person and a woman. So I love him dearly as my friend without ego or pride and its freeing and true. I learned that older men seem to be more grounded, gentle and kind in their views and attitudes about life and love. Time.
Personally I think people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I think thats written on some sappy greeting card somewhere but I believe it. The Universe works in funny, shitty, crystal clear and completely fogged ways. All I truly know is that since I choose to ask the questions and may not like all the answers or understand completely, I'm fucked. And lucky. Time.
Keep baking. Keep mining. Seek golden.
~Kristen
Age. Numbers. How many minutes, hours, days, years we have lived on earth and what have we become to this point and what have we learned and what can we give back to those we care about? I think the scariest shit is actually doing a self assesment. Yikes! Somebody stop me?
Ive dated 15 years younger and 27 years older than myself. When I say 'date' let me bluntly say...slept with, knocked boots, gotten jiggy, howled like a wolf, and enjoyed purposely getting naked and made love with these people with gusto and passion. Im not talking a huge number, but enough to come to this conclusion....age does matter. AND age doesn't mean a damn thing. Its the person behind the number.
I tend to be attracted to men with higher intellects. I admit to getting bored easily and if a guy can stir my brain..Im all in. My loins follow my brain. If he can challenge me in a positive way, I'm all in. If I can learn something or have discussions ranging from the extremely juvenile (I think farts and burps are funny as hell) to debating who had a clearer understanding of the Universe in philisophical theory and transcending one's self (Nietzsche, Tolle, Ram Dass, Emerson etc), I'm all in. If a guy can fart and burp WHILE discussing philosophy...well thats just an added bonus in my opinion. The cherry on top.
To date I haven't found what I'm looking for. To date I have found what I'm looking for, just not in 1 person. I bet all of you have at one time or another wished you could smash all the amazing qualities from all these relationships you've had into 1 Perfect Man or Woman. I think it's really rude that you can't. Dammit! But I get what I need from the array of friends I have. I'm lucky, but I also put the time in with these awesome people and they do the same with me. True Friends. My Tribe I call them.
Shit, I had a point. Having A.D.D can really rock if you can stay focused. Obviously it's not my strong point, that focus thingy. OH. Age. I think I'm happiest in the long term with someone closer to my age, give or take a few years. People are at a certain stage at certain times and there really is no way around that. But I've met young people with old souls and older people with young souls. Go figure. Time and experience. You can't fake that or be a poser in those areas. Its an absolute. Like beauty, it just is.
I recently dated a guy 10 years younger and though he had an extremely high IQ and could have kept my interest probably for the rest of my life.... he was half baked. Not his fault. He just simply wasn't done cooking. I wanted to hug him and slug him at the same time for some of the simple courtesies he either lacked or didn't deem important enough to show me. Only time and experience may solve or fill the holes in his character, his persona and how he treats others in his life. It sucked because I accidently fell in love. I think I fell in love with the dream of what my life could be like with someone amazing, maybe not the person. I'm not sure. but it was definately love. I learned alot about what I do want and don't want. Everything counts. It was difficult letting go of a dream but not the guy. Does that make sense? Shove him back in the life oven in hopes he will evolve to that toasty yummy golden color we all seek in a friend or relationship. We were at very different places in our lives. Time. Love helps me write. Its a muse and so was he. That half baked boy.....
I also dated a guy for 3 years about 15 years ago. We were 4 years apart in age. We were in love but over time and both of us being true Alphas, we butted heads instead of hearts, even though we had the exact same goals and dreams. Our egos and pride got in the way. What each of us thought was important grew to be different. We broke up. 10 years passed. We went our separate ways. He looked me up. We connected again as just people. We both had grown, our attitudes matured and we are the very best of friends to this day. He and I often laugh at both of our shortcomings from years ago. People hopefully do evolve positively over time. I just think its fanfuckingtastic when you run into people you knew in the way past and you connect again, both of you being different, better people. We talked of trying it again but we weren't the same people anymore. He is another high ranking member of My Tribe and I couldn't imagine my life with him. He is one of the very few men I respect in character and I love him completely. Time.
There was this other guy that was 20 years older than me. It started out on a mutually understood sexual level and it was very cosmic. Tantric. Amazing. Like a chick I fell in love with the whole man. I realized my heart is an involuntary muscle. Same with the guy that was 10 years younger. Damn betraous, torturous heart. Ahhh, heavan and hell. I wanted more than he could give (what a shocker) me so we ended the relationship with me cursing the male gender again. We didn't communicate for a long time. We connected again and the great thing is we left the past in the past. We just started over as very informed friends. This guy was simply to amazing and golden inside to dismiss him completely from my life because I didn't get my way with his heart. To date he is actually the person who has made the most monumental contributions to my evolment as a person and a woman. So I love him dearly as my friend without ego or pride and its freeing and true. I learned that older men seem to be more grounded, gentle and kind in their views and attitudes about life and love. Time.
Personally I think people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I think thats written on some sappy greeting card somewhere but I believe it. The Universe works in funny, shitty, crystal clear and completely fogged ways. All I truly know is that since I choose to ask the questions and may not like all the answers or understand completely, I'm fucked. And lucky. Time.
Keep baking. Keep mining. Seek golden.
~Kristen
