The theme song for todays blog is:
Rock On by David Essex
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_mzadEFuP4
Men. Boys. Those people with penises. Those dudes from Mars. Yes, THEM. Jesus, Joseph and merciful Mary mother of God can I get a valium? Industrial size bottle please?
Don't misunderstand me. I love em. Boys and men. I have a son. Hes a boy. I have a Dad and a brother. They are men. I love them to the depths of my soul. The rest of them I want to slug the crap out of. Often and with verve. (For my best gfriend and cousin Carla-verve means with special ability or talent, with spirit and enthusiasm.) Carla helps me balance my checkbook and do my taxes and I explain any word longer than 4 letters to her. Itsa win/win situation for both of us.
I dated this one guy who told me I was like that girl on the playground that threw rocks at you or slugged you in the arm because she liked you. That summed me up accurately I thought. I then explained to him that I threw rocks at him because he's a retarded boy who possibly ate to much lead based paint chips as a smaller boy and wasn't paying close attention nor giving me the desired response I wanted so I'd peg him the head with a flying rock. Jeez, its certainly not MY fault he couldn't clearly read the bright neon sign above my head that said "I like you alot you dumb fucker".
Sheesh. Maybe I should tell those people from Mars that I have a right arm loaded with rocket fuel, throw like a dude, played first base in co-ed baseball and my aim is true. Or maybe if I just tell them that if they see my right arm wind up and cock back they might want to run, duck or hit the dirt. Some people with penises have better eyesight than others I guess. Piss me off and see what I'll throw. A shot put? A discus? Those could do some real damage. Retard, possible lead paint chip eater boy I actually adored. My jeans are getting to tight to carry rocks in my pocket anyways. Maybe all my girlfriends and I should give remedial reading classes to boys. Nah, that wouldn't work. The travel time and distance between Venus and Mars is kinda vast. As soon as they make travelling at light speed a reality, let me know. Please. Throw a rock at my head if you have to.
Instead of having to spend my time and energy throwing rocks at dumb boys, I'd rather wrap my arms around a guy and just hug em nice and warm and genuine. I love a good, solid hug that lasts awhile and you can feel the persons energy. I also dig it when you look at eachother after the hug and a big grin breaks out on both your faces because your together. A smile thats uncontrollable. Those really rock. Hugs rock and rock and rock.
Now if I can just get them to come close enough to hug them. I could bring candy bars to school and maybe bribe a few. Nah. Its not the same if they don't hug you because it just feels right and good. I'll eat the candy bars with my girlfriends and plot our next strategic move on how to get good boys to not be stupid. We better by stock in Hersheys chocolate girls. Alot of candy bars will need to be eaten.
~Kristen
Rock On by David Essex
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_mzadEFuP4
Men. Boys. Those people with penises. Those dudes from Mars. Yes, THEM. Jesus, Joseph and merciful Mary mother of God can I get a valium? Industrial size bottle please?
Don't misunderstand me. I love em. Boys and men. I have a son. Hes a boy. I have a Dad and a brother. They are men. I love them to the depths of my soul. The rest of them I want to slug the crap out of. Often and with verve. (For my best gfriend and cousin Carla-verve means with special ability or talent, with spirit and enthusiasm.) Carla helps me balance my checkbook and do my taxes and I explain any word longer than 4 letters to her. Itsa win/win situation for both of us.
I dated this one guy who told me I was like that girl on the playground that threw rocks at you or slugged you in the arm because she liked you. That summed me up accurately I thought. I then explained to him that I threw rocks at him because he's a retarded boy who possibly ate to much lead based paint chips as a smaller boy and wasn't paying close attention nor giving me the desired response I wanted so I'd peg him the head with a flying rock. Jeez, its certainly not MY fault he couldn't clearly read the bright neon sign above my head that said "I like you alot you dumb fucker".
Sheesh. Maybe I should tell those people from Mars that I have a right arm loaded with rocket fuel, throw like a dude, played first base in co-ed baseball and my aim is true. Or maybe if I just tell them that if they see my right arm wind up and cock back they might want to run, duck or hit the dirt. Some people with penises have better eyesight than others I guess. Piss me off and see what I'll throw. A shot put? A discus? Those could do some real damage. Retard, possible lead paint chip eater boy I actually adored. My jeans are getting to tight to carry rocks in my pocket anyways. Maybe all my girlfriends and I should give remedial reading classes to boys. Nah, that wouldn't work. The travel time and distance between Venus and Mars is kinda vast. As soon as they make travelling at light speed a reality, let me know. Please. Throw a rock at my head if you have to.
Instead of having to spend my time and energy throwing rocks at dumb boys, I'd rather wrap my arms around a guy and just hug em nice and warm and genuine. I love a good, solid hug that lasts awhile and you can feel the persons energy. I also dig it when you look at eachother after the hug and a big grin breaks out on both your faces because your together. A smile thats uncontrollable. Those really rock. Hugs rock and rock and rock.
Now if I can just get them to come close enough to hug them. I could bring candy bars to school and maybe bribe a few. Nah. Its not the same if they don't hug you because it just feels right and good. I'll eat the candy bars with my girlfriends and plot our next strategic move on how to get good boys to not be stupid. We better by stock in Hersheys chocolate girls. Alot of candy bars will need to be eaten.
~Kristen
No comments:
Post a Comment
Comments welcome!